REALLY dirrrrrrrty gurrrls!!!

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Dear All

We are happy to announce that burlesque theatre practitioner and academic,
Gwendoline Lamour will be presenting the second keynote at this year's
postgraduate conference 'Journeys Across Media' (University of Reading). Her
paper will be on 'Romanticizing the Female Form'. More information on Ms
Lamour's performances can be found at: www.gwendolinelamour.com/

For more information on the conference (17 April 2009) feel free to visit
the University's website at:
http://www.reading.ac.uk/ftt/pg-research/ftt-pgrjam.asp

Kindest regards

Tim Vermeulen, Harper Ray and Reina-Marie Loader

"Miss Soapy T*t-Wa*k gets an Ology"

Far from "Romanticing the Female Form" - Burlesque always was and to the best of my knowledge in its 21st century Lap-Dancing incarnation, still is an amateur divertissement "entertainment" provided by whores for johns visiting knocking shops while they decided which sex slave to schtup.

I am not entirely sure which part of their "Form", 13 and 14 year old Victorian and latterly, often under-aged eastern European and Oriental prostitutes, will find quite so "Romantic" as they are being pawed by dishevelled and occasionally drunken eighteen stone men smelling of yesterday's kebab and week-old underwear.


Perhaps they will get to enlighten us when they attend the above brilliantly thought-through Conference. If they ask nicely enough, their pimps will probably be entirely happy to sponsor their attendance, in order to give us their view on the subject.



Maybe Gwendoline Tushylush and her silken ilk will bring us back their breathless and death-defying reports from the field?

Burlesque in its current form, is a dressing-up hobby, a lacy-veiled pretext for wobbly and untrained Trustafarian Fionas and Arabellas to stumble around in fans and fetish pumps, getting their tits and bits out for grinning City Boys in artfully designed retro-bordellos from Hoxton to Ladbroke Grove.



Let's face it, only these types and furtive c-list TV presentas can afford the entry and bar prices in these monumentally misguided forays into infantile degeneracy. Colour, movement, fur coats and no-knickers, - the perfect antidote for ex- junk-bond salesmen, week-end fetishists and the terminally spoilt wall-eyed children of Rock Stars and Advertising tycoons.

In isolation, what the spawn of Sodom and Gomorrah do of a night-time really could not matter less.
However, notwithstanding a terrifying lack of associative thinking, dignifiying Burlesque with publically funded academic legitimacy of any description, borders on the morally bankcrupt.

For Burlesque proudly to be presented as a pukka extension of Performance Art,pace Gogol Bordello, Shunt et al - whilst demonstrating no shortage of chutzpah, betrays the level of ingenuousness and lack of intellectual rigour usually accorded people who become musicians because they think there is money in it or those who enter politics in the belief they can change things.

There is something not quite nice about being invited to attend a scholarly dissertation on "Burlyscew" be it ever so post-modern and ironic, while thousands of women a day are continuing to be impregnated by HIV positive partners and millions more starve in Africa.

Perhaps it might be a fun and far more spontaneous alternative to just cut to the chase and actually get to live the Experience of Burlesque by running around the conference hall knocking over chairs, spilling vodka and chanting - Get Yer Charlies Out Darlin!